Saturday, 9:27 PM. 

i feel exhausted & i still can't understand why i always procrastinate my much needed sleep. my brain is mush & the empty head feeling reminds me that my brain needs to rejuvenate before i get up in the morning & shock it back to life. to be honest with you, writing these three sentences is the most i have written in probably two months. Anna has stopped asking me about my book, which is a blessing but then makes me wonder why i'm not writing. & then i feel a little situational depression, even though deep down i know i'll get my mojo back eventually.


for a tim hortons counter attendant i worked my ass off pretty hard today. i hardly ever glanced at the clock. i just got through my breaks & then did a shit load of cleaning around the store front. not to mention the piles of dishes i had to wash & put away. i can't take credit for it all though because i had some help when a few people went home for the day.


the ballsiest thing i have ever done lately was give a guy my number in drive thru. i was proud that i was coming out of my shell finally, & the first few dates were okay. but man did that ever turn out to be a mistake. or at least i feel like it was a mistake.


he finally goes to a different store now. thank god. 


i'm hoping to have my life turned around by this next pay cheque or else i'm sure i'm just going to fuck myself over in the long run.